He's desperate to hear your voice
He felt sick,he felt bad
No,it was not easy
It was like banging his head on concrete
Would you stay? If he begged?
Would you give him the chance?
And come back with open arms?
Or you'd choose the other 'him'?
The one who planted a smile on your lips,
The one whom you said you couldn't live without
Maybe.. But still..
He's breaking inside,actually,torn apart
He felt silly believing that you're made for each other
He said I love you, you answered Goodbye
He never felt more alone in his life,from then on
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Adorable isn't she? :)
That's bella,my baby dax. She'll be turning a year old this November. sigh! I kinda missed her :( Since we transferred to a place where it would be difficult to take care of a dog and I've left her with my aunt, I felt more away from home :( She's my eye candy,my chocolate,my smile.
I miss it when she takes a nap in my lap. Ooh, I remember the time I first held her,she was so tiny her whole body can comfortably take the space, but now! I always laugh when she tries to fit herself but can't. I guess that's how life is, we should all remember to treasure every moment spent with the people we love. Hopefully, and I promised my self, before the year ends, I will be able to take my bella back. no goodbyes for us. :)
This is the story on how I met my bestfriend, soulmate, and the man I'd want to be with, forever..
We just moved in that subdivision and I was walking down the street, trying to see if there's any other kid hangin' around. I was 6 back then and an only child so I don't have any playmates. Looking at the deserted playground, it looks as though all the children are on vacation. So I just examined the surroundings and searched for a place to play. I found one, a garden with an old looking swing but the place was full of grown weeds, it could use some trimming and cleaning. I was determined to make the garden beautiful and build my clubhouse there, so everyday I go to that garden,clearing the weeds and planting flowering plants.I was very delighted when the plants were starting to bud flowers.
The next day, I was so shocked,some kids are stomping my plants,ruining my garden. When they saw me, they just laughed and then scampered away. I couldn't fight my flowing tears, I sat on the swing and cried.
"I worked hard to make this garden a 'real garden'! What's your problem??" I shouted.
"Maybe,they just want to make our lives miserable", a voice said.
I looked up, a boy probably my age was standing in front of me.
"Don't worry, I'll help you put your garden to its original state", then he smiled.
"Are you new here?" he asked.
I just nodded.
"Cait." I answered back.
"Don't you worry, those bullies can't get near you. I'm here now, i'll be your friend."
"Thanks." was all I can say.
He really did help me bring my garden back to life. I told him that we would build our clubhouse there. And from that day on, he became my bestfriend. :)
We did lots of things together, like playing foosball and frizbee. He was the one who taught me how to ride a bicycle. He was patient enough with me. It took weeks before I learned how to, because I was scared. He kept his promise, whenever the bullies were around, he never left me alone. Whenever I cry, he makes funny faces and jokes around to make me laugh, when I'm nervous, he gives encouragements, even one time, when I bruised myself, he was the one who bandaged me. I really think of him as my protector,like a brother y'know, And I was really thankful for that because I have no brother or sister.
There was a time when he nicknamed me 'angel' 'coz he said I'm the one who brightens up his day whenever he teases me. I nicknamed him my 'knight' 'coz he has always protected me.But that was back when we were little kids.
When we reached high school,it's always been the same, we're always sticking together. Our classmates would always tease us being 'twins' 'coz we're like glue. If one of us would be in a particular place,the other would be there too. We never hide secrets from each other. But things changed when we were on our senior year. It all started with the beautiful,sexy and elegant transferee Bianca. Whenever she passes,the boys' neck would grow long and their eyes would bulge. The worst thing is that,of all the boys in school, Bianca gotten to like Ken. I didn't mind at first 'coz I thought Ken didn't like her.Boy,was I wrong.
The time she started 'stealing' Ken away from me, I felt jealous and lonely, I didn't know why, I should've been happy for him.
My bestest friend is gone. Stolen. I felt I was the only person left in the world when I'm at school. I saw him sometimes but he never noticed me. He seems to have forgotten that he 'has' or 'had' a bestfriend. That whas when I realized it, I Loved him all along,not for being my protector or brother but for being who he was,for being Ken.
The day of our graduation came. Ken came to me,hugged me and said,
I was very happy 'coz I thought he would come back,to being my bestfriend again.I returned his hug and felt disappointed when he turned his back,talked to Bianca and stolen her from the crowd. I,then knew the meaning of 'heart broken'.
And so, I decided to go to LOndon to study. To be the Botanist that I dreamed of. I know that going away would also help me to forget him.
It was my last day on the subdivision where Ken and I grew up.I went to the places that brought out happy memories of my childhood. I also went to the garden where Ken and I made our clubhouse. It was still there, but it looked abandoned and sad. I stayed there the longest possible time I can. When I realized it was already getting dark, I went to some of my friends' houses to say goodbye, including Ken's. I wanted to tell him my feelings that I kept for so long,but he wasn't there so I just said goodbye to the members of his family.
I arrived in London with a heavy heart. I didn't have the chance to say 'I Love You' or even 'goodbye' to my bestfriend, to the man my heart belongs to.
So now,here I am,sitting at my balcony writing the story of my broken self.
(noise from the garden)
I went to look, and saw a bunch of kids picking flowers. I remembered the time I met Ken.
"Hey guys! What are you doing?" I asked in a friendly voice.
The kids were startled. Maybe because they're scared,they ran away not realizing that they stomped the plants.
"Hey I'm not angry,just ask if you want some flowers!" I called to them.
But they kept on running.
"Do I look like a mean,old witch?" I asked myself.
"Maybe you just need to take a bath?" A familiar voice said.
I smiled as I looked up. I saw him, the only man I loved. He's so handsome,wearing that sheepish grin on his face and carrying a bouquet of fresh red roses.
"For my angel" he said.
"What are you doing here?" I asked.
"Can I talk you?" he answered.
"Sure,I mean ,you already are." I uttered.
"I'm longing to say this to you,but I just can't." Ken said.
I closed my eyes knowing what he was about to say. Bianca and him are getting married.
"I Love You" the words came out of his mouth.
I can't believe it.
"I have loved you since the day we met but afraid to tell you 'coz you might think I'm taking advantage of you,of us being friends."
I was about to speak but he silenced me with his lips.
"About Bianca, I don't love her, I just want to get away from you 'coz my heart aches whenever I see some guy asking you for a date. I also wanted to know if you'll get jealous" he smiled.
"Well," I said.
"I'm really sorry Cait, I thought I'd forget you but I was wrong. The minute I found out you're leaving, I rushed to your house but you're already gone. I wanted to punch myself. So I decided to follow you." Ken explained,the love,shining brightly in his eyes.
"I love you, I understand if you don't. I'll just wait, I know it's all my fault"
It was my turn to smile.
"I love you too" I said.
"More than you'll ever know."
-- so high school.grr. I was very predictable when it comes to writing stories. :P